c172g

Sounds like my father. He died two years ago from Alzheimers and was in a care home for a total of about five months. My dad was diagnosed with it about three years before he died, and up until the day he went into a home permanently was on a steady decline but was always manageable.

We have a special "Alzheimer's" ward here in northern Michigan. That sounds good, but what the ward is really for is people that are diagnosed with it and are immediately put into the ward. Most of these people were walking, talking, and functioning, albeit on a slightly different plane than the one that you & I operate on.

When we put dad into the ward he was able to walk, but was a little tippy. Also had problems recognizing people, but would go into fits of rage (although at 78 he was pretty harmless when he took a swing at you). When we admitted him, he was far beyond anyone else in the ward of 40 or so. It seemed the ward was for people who were alone that needed care without a spouse to help out.

After dad slipped three or four times in the ward and whacked his head, it was pretty much add drugs to keep him calm & in place.

It's a sad thing to see. On one hand, dad was fine about 60% of the time but you cannot allow someone to go swinging & screaming at their spouse. My mom had to lock her bedroom door at night. On the other hand, you realize that while your father/mother/grandparent is in a different world most of the time, if they didn't administer drugs constantly you might actually be able to have a normal conversation with them...but when would that be?

My family dealt with this together, and one of the books mom had showed a picture of a person in a boat (the Alzheimer's patient) floating away toward a sunset, with his back to his family standing on the shore. It's sad to think of it that way but that is 100% the way Alzheimer's goes. You see small glimmers of light but it fades fast.

Eventually, dad got pneumonia, the doctors told us a feeding tube was the only way to get him nourishment, and gave us the option of simply saying no. Within ten seconds of hearing that, our family 100% agreed that dad would not want the feeding tube & we did the same thing mentioned above. Seven days later he finally passed away. I don't mean to bring everyone down with this story, as I know I'm not the only one to lose a parent, but it was the best thing that could happen. My dad would have preferred someone leave him out in the woods on a cold night instead of going into a nursing home...

I don't envy the place you are in, but I do have a slight "appreciation" of Alzheimers compared to other forms of death. Sounds strange, but I had three years to let my dad know how much I loved him & appreciated everything he did for me.

Not everyone gets that chance.