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A couple of comments, although let me preface this by saying I'm no sage.. just a guy who has gone through life paying attention.
1. While there certainly may be Freudian / familial causes for your behavior, allowing them to rule or define who you are is counterproductive. Ultimately you and you alone control not only what you do but how you think about what you do.. and therefore what you feel about what you are doing. In my experience, positivity or just the thought of being positive can be stronger than whatever imbedded traits I thought I might have. That being said, take charge of and responsibility for what you are doing. Not doing so is cheating yourself.
2. Twenty-one days to form a habit I found to be accurate.. although I think that just having this goal in sight is more important than the arbitrary number '21'. I'm a firm believer in being accountable for personal change. For a more detailed, eloquent discourse on this try reading some of Krishnamurti's work. In a nutshell.. why wait to change? Why lean on an arbitrary goal? If you believe what you feel and have a serious desire to be / think a different way.. do it. Now. Right now. Don't wait for a gradual change to take place. Your mind is stronger than you think & if you decide you are done with a certain way of feeling or acting - drinking, for instance - then stop right now. At this moment, you're a non-drinker.
Maybe it sounds oversimplified.. but that's just because it is. Again, I'm just some guy. However I've found that both of the above points have helped me shape and re-shape who I am just by being aware of what is going around both around me and within me. Don't lie down and 'accept' that there is something irreparably wrong with you. To do so is to give up and forfeit whatever personal pride and sense of self you should have.
Out.
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