|
Victor,
You buy your daughter a car, but keep it awhile, until some contention comes up, then you use it as a bargaining chip, to make her give in to you having your way.
You pay for your daughter's housing, but consider it to give you a right to visit "your grandchild." Note that you call him your grandchild, rather than her son.
You sound like a guy trying to be controlling. She is finally learning to stand up to you, by telling you to take all the things you buy her and shove them. I think this is a healthy, positive step for her. You could stand to work on your tendency to BUY her love, rather than trying to earn it by being good, loving and caring to her.
I think the letter is a VERY good idea. It isn't demanding of her time, or intrusive. But it expresses your love. Even though you are controlling, you are trying to be loving, in your own perverted, little boy way.
In your letters, be sure to tell her, over and over, that you feel sad that she got into such adult responsibilities as being a mother, when she was so very young, but that you are proud of her that she bore the child and is working hard to care for it.
You should also consider, and meditate on, the fact that the father was way to young, at least emotionally, to take on the adult responsibilities of fatherhood. But he would like to love his child's mother and help her raise the boy as best he can. You might consider being proud of him for that.
Yes, both the mother and father are still to young, really, to have a child. But they have one, and are willing to make the best of it and work to make a life together and for their son. Bully for them.
OK, that's my soapbox for today.
__________________
Trueheart
|