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Then again, you know, I think I only really, truly cry (like whole body-shaking, on the floor because I have no strength, almost hyperventilating) when I'm alone. I've only been able to do this in front of other people a few times, but it's sort of like throwing up, or perhaps having an orgasm... something I hate/love doing, takes so long to get there, but once I'm going in that direction, nothing could stop it.
I feel so vulnerable when these things happen that I'm afraid of anyone seeing how helpless I am, or that they are going to feel uncomfortable with me letting loose like that. And I've never seen anyone else cry like that, so I feel a bit freakish when it does happen, like I'm going insane because it just aches and aches so much.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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