Strange Famous

all of these are from 1994 to 1996

So called Life

Another tepid, morbid, one night affair
I wish that you wouldnt but you just dont care
Another fumbling, sad, drunken mistake
At least you dont have to watch my heart break
Another day to live through, another pill
Its a shame you have so much time to kill
Another dream dead, youre too numb to cry
Your left with me to from distance ask why
The days feel so sickly lived double speed
And filled with so many things that you dont need
And I just wanted someone to hold me
While you were pleeading to somehow be frr
From people staring and asking you how
You'd be so brave in ten years from now.


Faster

Sky blue walls closing all around me
This is the way it always had to be
The much is certain, but how those two saw
A life together which could be much moire
Remains a mystery

Glaring at posters of pretty girls
I feel my heart stutter, my black eyes swirls
The world is full of people who dont care
Whether I live or die or make it there
How can I remember?

Listening to sad songs pluck at me
Drowning my life slowly, making me see
Her damp cheek, the shape of her back, her arms
Entwined around me. Winter never harms
The flowers indoors.


Love Letter

Nothing is over, something has begun
This sort of thing happens to everyone
Dragging my worthless self across 18
I found something, a reason to have been
So strong and silent; full of energy
That only ever needed empathy

You are beautiful, kind, sweet, beatific
Silly, confused, scared, unspecific
Always getting olst

I am ugly, aggressive, unsure, shy
Standing at the old women's funeral I
Dint feel anything

Something is over, only half begun
But these things can happen to anyone
One lone sleepless night, rolling through 18
I realised that there had always been
A reason to keep going down this path
Though I can see its going nowhere fast.


How much further must I walk alone

Ive never felt a real girls arms around me
And I know everybody else has
Ive never even kissed a girl
But I bet everybody else has
And I try to meet girls at the same clubs
And pubs that everybody else does.
And Im still alone and I always am
But I dont think anybody else is.
Why I am different, sadly blessed
With this hateful void nobody else has
I wonder how long this can go on for
Ive already lost the best years of my life


there's lots of stuff even more embarassing than that. oh my!

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas