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I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. . . and I'm amazed that I can chip in here with one that I didn't see!
Little Johnny comes home from school one day with a new word, finding his mother in the kitchen he asks her "Mom, what's fucking?" A little taken aback Mom stammers a moment and then tells little Johnny, "That means getting dressed."
A couple of days later Johnny hears another new word at school that he springs on his mother, "Mom, what's shit?" Again caught off guard Mom thinks fast and replies, "That means food, son."
About a week goes by and sure enough Little Johnny comes home with another one, "Mom, what's an asshole?" Getting used to this by now Mom tells him, "That's another word for a preacher."
Well, as fate would have it the preacher was going to be joining Little Johnny and his parents for Sunday dinner that week, after spending all day cooking Mom and Dad go upstairs to get dressed, leaving the seven-course dinner on the table in the dining room and Little Johnny to anwser the door should the preacher arrive while they're dressing. The doorbell rings and Little Johnny opens it to be greeted by the preacher, "Hello Little Johnny." Johnny, attempting to broaden his mind and show the preacher that he is well educated answers, "Hi, Asshole! The shit's on the table and Mom and Dad are upstairs fucking!"
Yeah, I just bet you didn't see that one coming a mile away!
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Halfway to hell and picking up speed.
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