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Tarl Cabot · 03-20-2005, 10:29 PM

Don't know if you're still reading this, but .....

I have yet to figure out what you wanted to accomplish by pressing charges. Getting the father classified as a felon, so he couldn't provide much child support?

There are a great many bitter men out there, who write a check every month, but aren't allowed to see their kid(s). Also not a good way to ensure reliable child support. That would appear to be moot, since he's not the father. However, if and when you find out who the father really is, I think you should approach the matter differently. In other words, get child support, but don't get him declared a felon.

Along those lines, although I'm not a lawyer, I think it would be a big mistake to sue for visitation rights, if things deteriorate with your daughter. First, it's unlikely to prevent your daughter from moving to another state if she gets mad enough. Secondly, woe be unto you if the child should get injured while in your care. Thirdly, if your daughter is REALLY mad, she can do what so many other angry women do--accuse you of molesting the child. I don't know your daughter, but this happens routinely in divorce cases.

As the father of a daughter, my advice would be to do nothing the daughter doesn't ask you to do, and that means quit trying to force her to do what YOU want. It won't work anyway until she realizes that your advice is good, and unfortunately, that may be years from now.

Once the child support stops, she's going to have some hard choices. At that time, you can lay out your ground rules: If she wants support from you, you'll provide a roof over her head, food to eat, maybe a few clothes. Baby sitting, if it's convenient for YOU. Education expenses if things work out that way. But no cash!!!!

One more little kicker for you: I can't remember where I read it, but many states are so broke now that they're legally requiring GRANDPARENTS to provide financial support for their grandchildren.

You might want to talk to your lawyer about what you should do to stay out of that situation.

I hope this wasn't harsh, and I wish you the best.

03-20-2005, 10:29 PM	#99 (permalink)
Tarl Cabot Banned Location: Gor	Don't know if you're still reading this, but ..... I have yet to figure out what you wanted to accomplish by pressing charges. Getting the father classified as a felon, so he couldn't provide much child support? There are a great many bitter men out there, who write a check every month, but aren't allowed to see their kid(s). Also not a good way to ensure reliable child support. That would appear to be moot, since he's not the father. However, if and when you find out who the father really is, I think you should approach the matter differently. In other words, get child support, but don't get him declared a felon. Along those lines, although I'm not a lawyer, I think it would be a big mistake to sue for visitation rights, if things deteriorate with your daughter. First, it's unlikely to prevent your daughter from moving to another state if she gets mad enough. Secondly, woe be unto you if the child should get injured while in your care. Thirdly, if your daughter is REALLY mad, she can do what so many other angry women do--accuse you of molesting the child. I don't know your daughter, but this happens routinely in divorce cases. As the father of a daughter, my advice would be to do nothing the daughter doesn't ask you to do, and that means quit trying to force her to do what YOU want. It won't work anyway until she realizes that your advice is good, and unfortunately, that may be years from now. Once the child support stops, she's going to have some hard choices. At that time, you can lay out your ground rules: If she wants support from you, you'll provide a roof over her head, food to eat, maybe a few clothes. Baby sitting, if it's convenient for YOU. Education expenses if things work out that way. But no cash!!!! One more little kicker for you: I can't remember where I read it, but many states are so broke now that they're legally requiring GRANDPARENTS to provide financial support for their grandchildren. You might want to talk to your lawyer about what you should do to stay out of that situation. I hope this wasn't harsh, and I wish you the best.