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Amnesia, your story intrigued me. Are you happy now? What made you decide that the relationship would be worth the effort? It sounds like you took a lot of drastic steps to ensure things would continue... what motivated you to invest so much energy?
Also, for the OP: I am a big advocate of the "I feel" approach. That is, start out your discussion saying, "I feel _<fill in certain emotion>_ when you _<fill in behavior that causes you to feel a certain emotion>_." I find that it defuses a lot of potentially blame-filled and/or defensive reactions and also puts the responsibility on you for your own feelings, rather than necessarily saying it's the other person's fault.
Granted, their behavior is the cause, but I think it's only fair to communicate at least what your feelings are in regards to their behavior, and then leave it up to the other person to change the offending behavior if they see fit. If they don't change, then you either have to get over it and feel better, compromise with them, or break up with them because they aren't willing to change. It comes down to what both of you are willing to change or tolerate, depending on how valuable that person and the relationship is to you.
Personally she does sound immature and not worth more than the 16 months you've already given her. Talk with her a few more times, make your feelings clear, and if still no decent response... boot her.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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