Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Astrocloud
My mother got sick from cancer when I was 10 and didn't get on me to clean my room. When she died I was 14 and really lacked the parental guidance needed to develop certain organizational habits.
Over the years I can say with certainty that my lack of organization and my general messiness has affected personal relationships in a very bad way. There were relationships that I wanted to keep -that just went away. Thinking back, there were a number of factors that caused the breakups... one of them was my general disorderliness.
|
I think both of these things happen to a lot of people, and it makes me sad. I see it a lot in my boyfriend as well, and at one point it almost got to breaking up with him because of it. Instead I started to get messier myself and somehow that made it okay. I dunno, maybe that's more screwed up than I thought... never thought of it that way before.
Anyway, I wish there was some magic pill to change what you're talking about, but it's almost psychological... unless your parents beat on you to be responsible and make you clean up after yourself, I don't know how to change these habits without plain old self-discipline. Which I used to have more of... it's really slipped away from me since I was in college.
I agree with Lindsey...
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by lindseylatch
You're depressed.... Maybe I'm just projecting.  Although one sign of my own depression in an increase in the amount of time i spend online, and a decrease in the amount of time spent face-to-face with people... |
This is a serious issue for me. The more time I spend on a computer, the more depressed I am. Why else wouldn't I be able to just get off my ass, clean my room, do something productive... usually, the state of my apartment and the shit I'm doing in my life, as well as how long I'm on the internet [which is basically a lifeless machine keeping me company], tells you whether I'm emotionally healthy or not. I've been depressed in some way or another for a lot of the last year, and I see it in my declining self-discipline. It takes so much extrinsic motivation to do things that used to come so easily to me.
So yes, I highly recommend counseling. Not that it has been a magic pill for me (and I don't take meds, yet), but it gives me a place to communicate my shit to other people and try to make tiny changes that might add up. Hell, TFP can be a form a group therapy if you post honestly and often, since you're getting instant, honest feedback from other people on your own neuroses. At least, that's what I do... but the format makes it problematic, since being online only indicates my depression. Working on it...