Amnesia620

It was the final day and final visit
we knew
playing the role of mother and son
me and you
on this day I saw all of myself
my son
in another person whose life
just begun
I couldn't tell the future on that day
truly unjust
for my only child or even myself
lost trust
to know the first true love of my life
my boy
the single shining star in my dark sky
of joy
would stay safe and be truly loved
without me.

I didn't know myself before this moment
could be
a woman standing with her strengths displayed
showing pride
living with the most painful choice left in life
to decide
good or bad or yes or no or right or wrong
too many
decisions of how and where to go from here
if any
roses were ever to bloom in the middle of winter
they were
meant to represent my new hopes and dreams
that reassure
a heart uncertain and doubt intruding upon me
a pattern
interrupting a life in which I'd grown accustomed to
never return.

On this day the words I never thought of saying
good-bye
are the only words at all that I can think of to say
but why
I'm forced saying them to the one person in my life
I'm told
to wait out each day to see how the unseen future
will unfold.

__________________
For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620