wellllll....
Have you talked to him about it firstly? Because I know that there have been a few women on this forum who got really worked up about their SO's percieved attitudes towards porn, then when they talked with them they found out that it wasn't what it seemed. Men (most, and some women too) are visual people. They like to look, they get turned on by it. This doesn't mean they're wanting what they see, just that it's exciting to see it. Have you ever watched porn with him? I'm thinking not... to me people who watch porn together realize that it's not the porn he's wanting, it's the sexy lady beside of him. TALK TO HIM!!
Secondly, congrats on trying to eat better and work out, and I'm very very sorry to hear of your medical problems, especially with your hips. I have had hip issues in the past and pain in the hip joints is like seven bitches in a bitch boat- bitchy. Make sure you're talking to your doctor about the best way to keep healthy and rehabilitated while you're going through this.
Thirdly, are you on any medication? Some meds (
ESPECIALLY HORMONAL BIRTH CONTROL!!!!) can mess you up mentally, and make you feel lower than normal (normal for a difficult situation I mean).This is something else to talk to your doctor about.
Finally, are you doing anything sexual at all? Do you and your husband masturbate together if you find intercourse painful? Are you having oral sex? Surely there's ways for you both to expierence mutual sexual pleasure without it hurting for you. Get a vibratior and have him use it on you, spend a long morning in bed just kissing and talking about how much you love each other, go out for a romantic evening (or order pizza and have a candlelit picnic on the living room floor). You need to reconnect with your husband- it seems that you think this is all in YOUR head, which some of it is, but it involves your husband too- and that means you BOTH are in this together! TALK TO HIM!!!! If you feel you can't, go to a marriage counselor- they will help with the self-esteem, the sex, and the childhood problems. Are you in thearapy? IT HELPS A TON! Also, look online for support groups of molested adults- finding people to talk with about that will help you recover.
Your husband is most likely looking at porn because he feels sexual a lot, and needs to release. TALK TO HIM and he'll probably tell you the same thing. Communication- it's a wonderful thing!
