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man i dont know what to tell you guys .. you've all given some great advice but there seems to be nothing I can do to kill this absolute fucking pain .. it just kills me to know it went bad without even knowing what did it. I don't know man, I've never loved anyone like this and the worst part is, there is no fixing it. Even if it was fixed, it would never be the same. I guess I'm just having a hard time dealing with it, being so fresh and all.
For what it's worth, I'm usually a very confident, outgoing and hard-willed person. I wasn't underemployed, I work for a guy who's a friend from high school, started his own construction company and he pays me as best he can. It's not quite what I could be getting but I told him I'd be with him for a long time to come because I want to see him make it and I know when he does I'll be taken well care of. I play guitar, but it's not doing what it used to for me. It used to be a great remedy, but that seems to have changed. I guess the most shocking thing, aside from the obvious, is how helpless I feel despite the personality I normally have. Anyways, enough of my depressive ramblings.
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