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Originally Posted by danny_boy
I have always had low confidence and self esteem.
For g-d sakes, I was valedictorian of my high school, and univ class, played varsity basketball, and currently in one of the top grad schools in the world..
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G-d? Are you jewish? Most of the good jew boys I meet feel inadequate or unloved to a certain degree because of the high standards they feel they must live up to. And the better you are, the harder it is to keep topping yourself!
Rest assured that your girl does like and want sex. If she needs to be prompted to become horny and kinky, then that's just how it is. I often don't become horny until after we actually begin having sex (all the way through foreplay I might just be going along for the ride) because the hormones don't start flowing until then. It's nothing to do with you; in fact, it means you are very good at sex if you get her so turned on!
Sex aside, I would go ahead and seek counseling to help your self-esteem. This is one of the issues counselors see a lot and they know exactly how to make you see the truth: that you are a sexy and valuable man.