Since you've known me over the years, Seer666, you know of my trials and tribulations in the past 5 years I've been subjected (and, in some cases, subjected myself) to. I've gone through three seperate addictions, and have rid myself and my life of their poisons and poisonous influences.
I've been right where you are, Seer.
When I moved into the 2 bedroom/2 bath apartment (had the gay roommate who was an alcoholic that moved out and I paid the full rent and bills for the remainder - 6 to 8 months - of the lease) I spent 18 months learning who I was, fixing the faults of mine that I saw, all the while remaining single during this time.
I won't say it wasn't tough, and lonely...but it's a confidence and self-esteem booster and I found that, after the 18 months were up, I was happier, healthier and had acquired a deeper understanding of myself, my friends and my family.
I know that, majorily, quitting smoking may be different (more difficult, certain areas having more of an impact than others) for you than it would be for me. However, as I read your post, I think you are starting to see things about yourself, changing yourself to your liking, and you will view, in the end, everything and everyone around you differently and more clearly than ever before. I'm sure of this; enforced belief by my own experience and what other people have said they experienced.
Just so it's said and understood, you know I'm here for you. As a friend, to lend an ear or give advice if requested, but mostly, I am someone who's empathetic and honest. A person who cares about you - who always will.
I am very proud of you, Seer. I hope that you are able to reach your goal(s), through your best effort. I admire your strength and independence in this venture. You have 150% of my support, Seer. Now, and always.
xoxo