Yoy may have heard this one:
A guy was in bed with his wife when suddenly he let out a loud fart. He yelled, "7 points!"
His wife looked at him and said, "What the hell are you doing?"
He simply replied, "Just playing bed football."
Ten minutes later the wife let a loud one and said, "Tie game - 7- 7."
The husband's competitive side kicked in and he started starting straining... when suddenly he crapped in the bed!
His wife looks over and said, "Now what's the score?"
He said, "Still 7- 7. End of quarter switch sides!!!"
How to Tell When You Have PMS:
1) Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2) You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3) The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4) Your man is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5) You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, "How's my driving- call 1-800-***-****."
6) Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7) You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
8) You're counting down the days until menopause.
9) You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10) The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.