kitsune

it seems to me like people don't know how much they need pain, how much they need turmoil and things they concider "bad". people spend so long fighting against things like sadness, and lonliness, that it makes it seem like it's this fight that we can win - it makes it seem like bad things are something unnatural, and then it just devistates us when it all comes crashing down around us. and it's because the things we concider bad are just things, it's only our definition that makes them bad to begin with, and human definition is really contradictory and unstable... in human evolution, as with the evolution of any animal, that animal exists today because all thier ancestors survived because they had an insatiable will to live, a resillience to perservere. so we were always striving to acheive something, banning together and putting all our efforts into acheiving something great, like new invensions and revolutions and societies, and the ones who showed the most strength were the ones who reproduced; and therefore, it is in human nature to persue things. we have emotions because that is what instincts are; emotions simply ensure that we do what nature wants us to do. and because of this, because our ancestors always strived towards some goal, our emotions tell us to follow things, to try to acheive things; in other words, we are inspired by the thought of finding something new, or acheiving something monumental. but until recently in our vast, vast timeline, we havent had the luxuries we do today; we no longer need to hunt, and we scarsely need to suffer. our society works so well that we all can talk to other people whenever we want to ( cell phones ) and get to wherever we want to so fast ( cars ) and we have such furnished conditioned places to sleep... we live such comfortable lives, and all of the primal physical traits that kept us doing what we did in the past are gone: SO, to compensate, we've translated most of them to a SOCIAL level. such as...: lust is now called love. but love has social details, whereas lust is just sex. we still attack the weak ones in our tribes, and our tribes still fight with eachother, and we still do a million primal things, but we just don't realize it because they have names now, and they have social attachments and entail certain things. and therefore, in being able to comprehend things in such a literal sense, in a society where we're taught that certain things entail certain things, our sight becomes really warped. it's as though the world is a big painting, and living is like observing it: most people spend so long looking at one small detail trying to figure out what it means, that they lose sight of everything else, and start to think that the one thing they're fixated on represents the entire picture. but in reality, the artist never intended anything by that part; the artist was just filling up space, and didn't pay much attention to that particular detail. the harder you stare and the more intentively you try to decipher it, the more the imperfections bother you; BUT. if you unfocus your eyes, and don't dwell so much on one part, those imperfections no longer become imperfect. if you look at the big picture, you still know that the bad parts are bad, but you don't care. and you can even start to learn to love them, too. you cannot have shadow without light, and without bad there is no such thing as good; everything is relative to something, and the only way to tell what is good and what is bad is by human opinion... but human opinion changes from person to person, so there is no real way to know what is what? the basis of what i'm trying to say is... pain does not come from sorrow, pain comes from ones own inability to enjoy the said sorrow. people like movies because in a movie, the producer makes the beauty of the emotions and the meaning blatantly obvious to the observer; but in real life, it's not so obvious, because nobody is trying to show it to you. so people just asume it isnt there; but life can be so much like a brilliant film if you look hard enough, and you're the star, and everyone else around you is just there to contrast your character. is it a romance? action? comedy? drama? or all of them? in a story, the main character never knows he or she has an audience. in a story, the main character is always oblivious, and immersed in the story and in the feelings; but it's really nice to be able to take a step off the stage, and watch from the audience every once in a while.