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Does he know the mess really antagonises you? Does he know your feelings towards him as a consequence?
My flatmate is in most respects great but he does tend to leave his stuff around and not finish the washing up etc. One day I got cross and said a few harsh words and he was totally mortified - he had not idea I was getting so angry. He just hadn't seen things the way I had.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is that getting cross, but not losing it completly, is a good way to emphasise where you lay the blame for the state of the room. You don't seem to have come out and directly blamed him for it?
As for the girl - you have to respect that he has a right to invite friends around.
TBH I would never be able to share a room with anyone - it never happens at UK universities as we get a small room each, sometimes *very* small!
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