TheFrogel

Heh, I've done that same exact thing, but in college. Screwed myself over for two entire semesters, knew that I was going down in flames but didn't really care enough to do anything about it, and I would shove away anyone trying to help me. I'm working on trying to get over it right now; I'm in Jamaica with the Catholic Church helping out the people (putting on roofs, building houses, etc), but I find that when I'm not at a jobsite specifically, I'll take any opportunity I can to loaf. (Why am I on this comp? I should be preparing for tomorrow). And soon I'll be in the Navy, and I really don't think that they'll tolerate it. But all in all, I think I'm on my way up. Why? Because I'm working towards something.

I think really I started out in that direction because I didn't care what was going on, I didn't know where I wanted to go with life or anything. However, now I am going for a specific goal: when I'm in the Navy, I'm going to work harder than everyone else so I can have more options; officer, 1st pick of base, and things like that. I'm going in, and I'm gonna kick ass. That's how I feel about it, so that's how it's going to be. I have something to look forward to and work towards, that's how I'm trying to change.

About the 21-day habit thing: It kinda works, and it kinda doesn't. It'll help your mindset; for example, whever I wake up, the first thing I used to do would be go to the computer and boot up WC III. Now it's going to church, then doing something meaningful. Granted, it's not what happens all the time, but it's better to have a mind that's more inclined to be industrious than not.

But I hate that feeling. Good luck on working your way out of it. It's not easy, it's not quick.

EDIT: While I was writing, there was a reply about therapy. It's a good idea. It feels nice to just be able to talk and talk and talk about what's going on sometimes, and have someone who can help you.