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Do you really want your upper body to be stronger than your hands can handle? Pushups hurt your wrists/lower arms first, because that is your weakest link, build them up, then you won't have trouble with the exersizes that will more likely effect your chest and shoulders.
That being said, do whatever exersize YOU like and will stick with. If you get into any kind of shape, people will notice the healthy glow, or whatever you want ot call it. Most chicks (wow, I really said chicks) wouldn't know the difference between real size and 'defined' anyway, so just getting in shape will be the thing for "the look".
Personally I like lifting really heavy stuff, so I'm biased towards those exersizes.
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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."
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