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cyrnel-
It's time to have a sit down with your mom's medical staff, and have what I call a "come-to-Jesus-meeting!" You are obviously underinformed. Whatever is going on with your mother should be easily explainable to a person of your educational level. It's damn near criminal for you not to be absolutely on top of your mom's condition and her plan of care.
The problem is that none of your mom's physicians are taking any time to explain anything but the most immediate medical care. I assure you that if you could get even fifteen minutes of dialog, then you would be able to lose that helpless, lost, and supremely irritated feeling that you are carrying around with you.
Health care makes sense. There is nothing magical about it. As an engineer, they should be able to explain the whole of it in no time.
Don't stop until you are informed and included. Don't take no for an answer.
Good Luck to you and your mom.
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The sad thing is... as you get older you come to realize that you don't so much pilot your life, as you just try to hold on, in a screaming, defiant ball of white-knuckle anxious fury 
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