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Originally Posted by alicat
You said a large percentage of society views being overweight as "undesirable". That doesn't mesh with the numbers. Given that nearly two-thirds of the U.S. is overweight, I'm curious, are you saying that most (or close to, two-thirds) of the people in the U.S. find themselves and the majority of other people "undesirable"?
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No, i'm not saying that. I said "a large portion". I didn't say "nearly all" or even "majority". I can't back up that statement with a hard statistic. It's a statement based on my observations on people's behavior over my lifetime; that a lot of people find skinner people attractive, even if they themselves are obese.
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I agree physical attractiveness is important, and is usually the first thing that brings two people together (um, "attract"). However, as you said:
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Other traits, like ambition, honesty, moral strength, caring, or empathy, are harder to uncover and they take time.
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Do you realize how silly (IMHO) this sounds? You're basically saying that you judge a person on how they look first and everything else that makes up a person comes second.
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I think you've confused importance with chronological order.
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Since it is an immediate and visual characteristic...
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This was the context it was in, and I further explained how important I felt obesity was with my last paragraph-
"there are SO many things more important about a person than their weight. It's a drop in the pond."
I do judge people on how they look first. So does everyone else. I don't put much weight in that judgement because they are just physical characteristics- and I imagine most people think the same. And afterwards, I usually get a chance to talk to them and find out the important characteristics of the person.
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Again, as I said before in this thread, I am the last person to command you to find fat attractive. I don't know if I'd want you for a friend (the only role I'd qualify for, to you) though, if you saw me as less of a human being simply because I have some extra padding.
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Come on, this is totally inflammatory. The issue we're talking about here is how obesity affects predjudices and what impression it gives to others- my argument is focused on that (small) aspect. Please don't think that this is an overriding philosophy that dictates my every action and whim. You're making a mountain out of a molehill.
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Sooo... I might have a wonderful personality, in which case, you wouldn't care about my weight. Which, I think might be agreed upon, you meant as long as I'm overweight, then my weight would become a problem.
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again. It's not a problem. Gross obesity is just an aspect of the body that I would find undesirable in a mate.
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And since I'm overweight, I probably meet the stereotype of a lazy person (nevermind everything I've said about myself in this thread to the contrary). I am neither lazy nor self-indulgent (far from it, I put almost everyone else before myself as a lot of women do).
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That's great for you. My post wasn't aimed at you, but ok. Also, narcissism and self-indulgence are not the same thing. You can be very selfless and still self-indulge. This isn't really relevant to the topic though.
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I realize that stereotypes exist because they have some basis in reality. But perhaps some of the problems in today's societie's exist because we may have put too much merit into them? A thought.
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I'm just curious as to how you would make quick judgements about people and situations when you've not had a chance to talk to everyone and figure out what kind of people they are. We need to put weight and merit into stereotypes (catagories) to provide the best solution to problems in which we lack information.
I'd just like to add something new as well. When I say "fat" or "skinny" where is the line between these two sides of the spectrum? 30lbs. overweight? 40? 60? 80? 160? Just as extreme skinniness is unattractive to most people (mmm ribcage...) the point at which obesity becomes unattractive differs from person to person.