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Why did I have to find this topic? Since all of y'all have shared, here's my tale of woe...
I'm a BBQ fanatac and I will take my grill wherever it needs to go in order for me to be able to cook "my way." I was coming home quite late at night after a grilling (and drinking) session at a friend's place, about 2:30. I was still half-drunk and about half way home, and the tell-tale feelings and rumblings down below began. I managed to make it to my condo complex and attempted to park near our unit, no luck. There is never enough parking at our place, and being the middle of the night assured I would have to park about a block away. I really have to go by the time I can park, but now I'm a block away from my place. I could dash home and maybe make it, but then I'd have my car parked on a somewhat busy street with my grill still in the back of the truck, not good. While I just stand there weighing my options, nature takes control and decides for me, I have to drop trousers right there and churn puddin' in a patch of ivy. That's bad enough, but this is about 20 feet or so from some other poor schmuck's front door. Of course, it was diarrhea, and it sounded more like a duck being strangled than someone taking a crap in the bushes.
Luckily, I was able to get away without any witnesses. Lots of people take this route to walk their dogs, and I figure the smell will most likely be attributed to an inconsiderate dog walker. I take off my boxers and attempt to wipe with them, these shorts have officially met their end. (a moment of silence... thank you) I unload the grill and wheel it home.
Flash forward to the next day, I go back to the scene of the "grime" to get my truck, and the smell is absolutely rancid. FAR worse than any dog could have musterd up. I quickly get in my truck and vacate the premisis. If the owner of the place I shat in front of reads this, I am truly sorry for what happened, but it was an act of nature.
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If you have any poo... fling it NOW!
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