Tophat665

Now Nancy, I'm afraid your information is totally fucked. Sharks are not fucking nice, or any other kind of nice except that they are fucking perfect eating machines.

While some sharks will tolerate people, and no shark fucks with people by choice, a swimming human can look and awful fucking lot like a seal to a shark's tiny fucking brain, and Great Whites eat fucking seals for fucking breakfast.

Then there's Bull Sharks. They're all the fucking same, but the ones in Lake Nicaragua fuck up bunches of fucked in the head Nicaraguans who thought they'd take a little dip. Dumbfucks. Bull Sharks are pretty fucking territorial and very fucking agressive. Tiger Sharks are the same fucking way and almost as big as Great fucking Whites.

Blue Sharks, Brown Sharks, Lemon Sharks, Hammerheads, even Sand Tigers and Nurse Sharks will all take a fucking bite out of you given a chance. (That reminds me: A shark walks into a bar in Virginia Beach and says to the bartender, "I'll have two White Russians.")

And then, there are Goblin Sharks - fucked up looking pointy nosed critters who live at the very bottom of the Pacific fucking Ocean. They were getting fucked up signals on one of the trans Pacific phone cables, and when they pulled the fucker up to look at it, they found Goblin Shark fucking teeth in it. Now is that fucking nice? I don't think so.

Finally, the piece de resistance of shark fucker-dom - the cookie cutter shark (no fucking shit, there is such a beastie). This little fucker (they're only about three feet long - fucking minute for a deep ocean shark) took a bite out of a motherfucking nuclear submarine. Left a perfectly round fucking hole (hence the name cookie cutter shark) in their rubberized sonar dome.

The moral of this long fucking screed: Don't fuck with sharks. They will fuck you up.

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