I feel sympathy for the dead in a before-the-fact capacity. For the suicide victim, I feel pity for the mental anguish they endured before deciding the last of all last resorts was the best option left for them (although, admittedly, the cynic in me believes that the last thought through a suicide victim's head is "Oh shit, wait a sec..."). For the person who died of crime, illness or disease, I feel sympathy for the fear and suffering endured as they felt their own life slipping away.
But, then again, I guess that's not really sympathy for the dead. It's sympathy for the almost-dead.
For the sudden death victim, I don't experience sadness at all...even before-the-fact. "She was just driving to the school to pick up the kids, without any idea she'd never make it there nor ever see her kids again until that cement truck crossed the yellow line." Well, um...GOOD for her that she didn't have any idea! I'd be a mental meltdown if I knew when I was going to die and have to know my last day on earth to be with my family. Can you imagine how torturously fast each day leading up to the last one would pass by?
The REAL sadness in that example is in the thought of the kids waiting and waiting and waiting at school, wondering where mom is at...just about to get the worst news of their lives, and having to grow up motherless.
So, yeah...I'd agree. Once death has occurred (rendering the dead with the official title of "the dead"), the sympathy is no longer for the deceased...it's for what the living have lost.
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