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Old 02-27-2005, 08:50 AM   #15 (permalink)
lurkette
My future is coming on
 
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Gotta side with the "sympathy for the living" crowd. I might feel regret for what the dead person might have missed in his or her life, but not really sympathy. It's those of us who are left behind who have to deal with the feelings. I always think it's kind of pointless, though, to wonder about what the person might have missed. Sure, they might have missed getting married or graduating from college, but they also might have missed horrible relationships, debilitating illness, etc. Why do we always asssume that the dead would have had wonderful lives if they hadn't been killed "before their time?" That was one thing I had to deal with when my brother died. I thought about the good stuff he would miss, but I also thought how lucky he was not to have to deal with some of the shit that he might have had to deal with if he'd woken up from the coma brain damaged and scarred. I dealt with whatever regrets I had about his life as he experienced, but I've stopped wishing he hadn't died, or even wishing that the accident hadn't happened at all.
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