Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

alicat · 02-25-2005, 11:30 PM

I have been a member of the TFP for about 7 months now. The TFP is my internet home. I have a number of internet sites saved as "favorites" , yet the TFP is practically the only one I come to. This site I revere as an absolutely "safe" place to come to. The majority of the members are neutral and considerate. I anticipate and (really) expect the people here to be above what one would normally find in an internet forum.

However, I have held my tongue for too long. Yes, I am "obese". Although I am quite overweight, I am not "grossly obese". Medically I would just be considered "morbidly" obese, although I carry my weight pretty well. Given that the TFP is made up of a majority of males, the negative comments about overweight females (or males, but my observations are that it's females that are talked about mostly) must therefore be made by men.

Given the lack of tolerence for negative comments about practically everything else on the TFP, I feel the need to say something about the acceptance of those same type of comments towards people that don't fit the "Hollywood" body ideal.

I realize (although I don't understand it, given that 60 some percent of people in the U.S. are larger than a size 12, according to this weeks "Time") that "being fat" is the last accepted prejudice. What I have a problem with is that being the case on the TFP. I understand, and agree myself, that fat isin't that attractive. But please people, are you perfect? No, you are not. Anyone who is overweight has issues whether psychological or physical that has resulted in their weight gain. You don't know where they've been or what they've gone through that may have led (emotionally) to them turning to food as a band-aid for their pain, or what physical conditions or problems they might have that led to their weight gain.

Please people, get off your high horses. Believe it or not, I am the exception to the average (thin) persons idea of what a "fat ass" must live like. I eat maybe 1 1/2 meals a day (all home cooked, w/ lots of tomatoes, garlic and olive oil which is heart healthy). I eat fast food on average 1 meal every two months. I don't scarf down a half-gallon of ice-cream in a sitting, nor a bag of chips. In essence, food is not my problem, my body is. It simply doesn't want to play nice. I admit that excercise is my problem. I live with cronic back-pain which makes physical activity hard, which leads to me being inert, which leads to more back pain, etc.... That is a good example though. Too many think that anyone who is fat just eat themselves to that state. No, a lot of reasons can lead to someone being overweight. Not every fat person is that way because they sit on the couch all day and eat everything in sight.

O'kay, I'm pretty much done. I'm just sick and tired of reading comments from people who are too young (and I'm only 33) to have life really catch up to them (which can mean weight gain) or are so shallow that they think it can't ever happen to them, and therefore, based on those impressions, make callous comments about those that aren't just like them.

I know that my thread isin't going to save the world, and probably isin't going to even be read by the very people I'm talking about, but this has been ticking me of for so long now that I had to say something.

I had been considering posting pic's in Exhibition but I am just way too self-concious to given the many posts I've read that have comments about how "fat" a women is. I feel that there are really only a few dozen people on the TFP who are truly neutral and accepting (you guys know who you are!).

I would love to see some members stepping up to the plate and calling people on these "fat" comments, although I won't hold my breath 'cuz as I said before, "fat" is the last acceptable prejudice.

Ali

02-25-2005, 11:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
alicat Baffled Location: West Michigan	Weight prejudice on the TFP.... I have been a member of the TFP for about 7 months now. The TFP is my internet home. I have a number of internet sites saved as "favorites" , yet the TFP is practically the only one I come to. This site I revere as an absolutely "safe" place to come to. The majority of the members are neutral and considerate. I anticipate and (really) expect the people here to be above what one would normally find in an internet forum. However, I have held my tongue for too long. Yes, I am "obese". Although I am quite overweight, I am not "grossly obese". Medically I would just be considered "morbidly" obese, although I carry my weight pretty well. Given that the TFP is made up of a majority of males, the negative comments about overweight females (or males, but my observations are that it's females that are talked about mostly) must therefore be made by men. Given the lack of tolerence for negative comments about practically everything else on the TFP, I feel the need to say something about the acceptance of those same type of comments towards people that don't fit the "Hollywood" body ideal. I realize (although I don't understand it, given that 60 some percent of people in the U.S. are larger than a size 12, according to this weeks "Time") that "being fat" is the last accepted prejudice. What I have a problem with is that being the case on the TFP. I understand, and agree myself, that fat isin't that attractive. But please people, are you perfect? No, you are not. Anyone who is overweight has issues whether psychological or physical that has resulted in their weight gain. You don't know where they've been or what they've gone through that may have led (emotionally) to them turning to food as a band-aid for their pain, or what physical conditions or problems they might have that led to their weight gain. Please people, get off your high horses. Believe it or not, I am the exception to the average (thin) persons idea of what a "fat ass" must live like. I eat maybe 1 1/2 meals a day (all home cooked, w/ lots of tomatoes, garlic and olive oil which is heart healthy). I eat fast food on average 1 meal every two months. I don't scarf down a half-gallon of ice-cream in a sitting, nor a bag of chips. In essence, food is not my problem, my body is. It simply doesn't want to play nice. I admit that excercise is my problem. I live with cronic back-pain which makes physical activity hard, which leads to me being inert, which leads to more back pain, etc.... That is a good example though. Too many think that anyone who is fat just eat themselves to that state. No, a lot of reasons can lead to someone being overweight. Not every fat person is that way because they sit on the couch all day and eat everything in sight. O'kay, I'm pretty much done. I'm just sick and tired of reading comments from people who are too young (and I'm only 33) to have life really catch up to them (which can mean weight gain) or are so shallow that they think it can't ever happen to them, and therefore, based on those impressions, make callous comments about those that aren't just like them. I know that my thread isin't going to save the world, and probably isin't going to even be read by the very people I'm talking about, but this has been ticking me of for so long now that I had to say something. I had been considering posting pic's in Exhibition but I am just way too self-concious to given the many posts I've read that have comments about how "fat" a women is. I feel that there are really only a few dozen people on the TFP who are truly neutral and accepting (you guys know who you are!). I would love to see some members stepping up to the plate and calling people on these "fat" comments, although I won't hold my breath 'cuz as I said before, "fat" is the last acceptable prejudice. Ali __________________ 'Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun, The frumious Bandersnatch!'--Jabberwocky, Lewis Carroll "You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late."--Ralph Waldo Emerson