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i am reminded of a quote from a dar williams song:
i Stopped the tide, froze it up from inside, and it felt like a winter machine
That you go through and then, you catch your breath and winter starts again,
And everyone else is spring bound. and when I chose to live, there was no joy,
It’s just a line I crossed, it wasn’t worth the pain my death would cost, so i
Was not lost or found.
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