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You left them in the custody of your ex-wife, not the 12-year-old. That is what the main point should be. Just because it makes your ex seem 'cool' to your kids, you should let her know that if your kids got kidnapped, she wouldn't look so cool in jail for child negligance.
I must add that you shouldn't blame the 12-year-old. A kid that age doesn't really know the right thing to do, just what might make her feel like a cool big sister.
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