My boyfriend was in almost the exact same situation as you are with his girlfriend right before me. He cared for her, but knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere. She was crazy in love with him and so he didn't want to hurt her. They saw each other every couple of months during which he would pretend everything was ok because it was the only time he ever got to see her. He wanted to tell her, but she had plane tickets to fly out and see him... should he tell her before she flies out, or after? Should he break up with her at all?
And you know what happened? Me. And he cheated on her with me and it was bad and people got more hurt than they should have and it was a tough way for us to start a relationship and blah, blah, blah.
So my advice is to talk to her, tell her what you think. The small bit of pain that is caused now is worth not breaking anyone's heart later.
Good luck.
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