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hossified, it's great that you want the whole thing to work. Communication is the key. Talk, talk, talk, until you get sick of it. I know myself that I'm the champion in giving out this advice to everyone, and then I fail miserably at it in my life, but I know that most of my failures come down to a lack of propoer communication.
I like Janey's ideas - turn the whole thing around, ask what she expects, what she wants. It might turn out that she dosn't want to be neat at all, even when it comes down to her surroundings. You said earlier that she said that you are acting just like her Dad. Well, my Mom is thesame way. Her father was a neat freak, and she decided to do everything not to be like him, and she's at it for years. What I'm getting at is that some things might be irreversible, and you should know what your fiance wants in life, and how she wants it.
So there, some advice, and now it's back with a shovel to sorting out the mess that my life is :>
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