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Everybody has said a lot of good stuff, but maybe something to encourage the cleaning process is to do them together. Throw the laundry in, then when it's done sit down together and watch a movie while you fold it. Turn some music on, wash the dishes and dance to the music when you're done. Neither of you enjoy doing it because you see it as a chore. If you can incorporate something fun and meaningful into it for you, then it'll go so much more smoothly. If hygiene is such a big thing, seriously take some dish soap, wait till she's not wearing her nicest clothes, playfully get some on her, then clean the dishes, hop in the shower when you're done and have fun. It's all about your perspective. You say you want to be adult, sometimes that means trying different things until you find something that works.
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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna
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