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The best way to handle any problem is to get at it head on.
Accusations aren't going to work, reverse psychology isn't going to work and skirting the issue isn't going to work. You're just going to have sit down and talk about it.
You're not her father, nursemaid, or live-in caretaker. She's an adult, entered into the relationship as an adult, made the decision to live with you as an adult and now it's time to handle things like an adult. You love her and want desperately to get past this, but concessions will have to made and things will have to change for both of you if this is to get better.
Because it's not going to get better on it's own. Constantly going along and picking up after her isn't going to change a thing. Neither is waiting for her to get tired of the filth and clean it up on her own.
I hate to say it, but if she can't understand where your coming from (and vice-versa, mind you) then maybe you should consider the notion that you guys shouldn't be living together.
It all hinges and how much both of you want to make it work.
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No signature. None. Seriously.
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