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I would advise not to use any desensitizing cream whatsoever. It may help you last longer, but in some cases it willl hinder your reactions to pain and other goings-on inside her vagina. You could be hurting her and not even know it (especially if she doesn't say anything while its happening).
Use a water-based liubricant like K-Y Jelly or AstroGlide. I have used the K-Y Warming Jelly before and my girlfriend has mentioned that too much can really surprise her when its applied or the sex is too vigorous.
Sometimes when performing oral sex on her, I like to tease her to death and then go right to it.. the teasing helps her get turned on and then after awhile she's ready to go. Just don't tease her too lightly because (as my girlfriend has mentioned to me before) it can tickle.
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"You looked at me as if I was eating runny eggs in slow motion." - Gord Downie of The Tragically Hip
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