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Originally Posted by FngKestrel
Hey Augi, read what you added to Cybertooth, very interesting.
A few more things/nitpicks.
Who's perspective is the story being told from? Some parts are written from Jake's POV, other parts are written from an omnicscient 3rd person. Consistency again. But it's not a bad thing to write from different perspectives, a la Rashamon, but you should stay consistent within one section.
Also, a few homonyms are incorrect. By/buy. Reign/rain.
Anyhow, your content is great, I'm just nitpicking on the form.  |
Yeah, that's what that Stopped Editing mark was for. I need to change it because it is from the perspective of Jake. Jake August is the Wanderer who I am writing about. This Jake building the CyberTooth is a doppleganger of the one I will be writing about soon when I get the time.