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Living with someone is an adjustment... and it takes time... I doubt she's being disprespectul to you on purpose.
One thing you mention that stands out.. that you are "always after her to put things away...." Well... to me that's nagging, and if it were me I wouldn't do something because I'm being nagged to do it... You aren't her parent, you are her boyfriend, you shouldn't be nagging her to do anything.. (Put the shoe on the other foot - or whatever that expression is - -How would you react to being nagged to do something?)
Sit down with her and talk to her about how you are feeling - not what she is or is not doing. Put together a chore schedule about what needs doing and who needs to do it... Do this together...
It also sounds like you are both working out territory issues... "her cat" "my television" You are living together, "Our" should be entering the vocabulary more.
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Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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