hossified

...made the jump about 6 months ago and moved in with my gf. First place we got kicked out of because HER cat, so we moved again, into a real nice place. Well she is admittedly messy, and I am by no means a neat freak, but don't like dirty dishes, pots etc..lying around. I am constantly after her to put these things away or in the dishwasher cause she just leaves them out. That one usually ends up her calling me 'her father' and me putting the stuff away, cause I can't handle it anymore. Also, I decided to splurge and go out and buy a 2500$ tv. Well yesterday she decides to play with her cat in front of it, throwing a little foam ball towards the tv, and the cat jumps and gets it.....well after a few misses, the cat decides to go for a 'high' one and flys into my new tv. Well at this point I think I blacked out from rage, and lost it.......asking her why she does such stupid things? She leaves the room in a tantrum and I haven't spoken to her since. Now how can I rectify this situation, without causing a huge problem. We've been going out for 5 years now.....but if this keeps up I am seriosly thinking about leaving. I take all these little antics as dis-respect....and any time I tell her this, she gets super defensive, and ends up blwoing it out of the water. I'm tired of not being able to discuss things like adults!!! (we're both 27)

help me!