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Originally Posted by elsesomebody
Thanks for the suggestions. We've been using K-Y, and foreplay is part of the process at least some of the time. This brings up another question: are there negatives to having her cum before I try to penetrate? Does that cause her to cool down, tighten up, dry out, etc?
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AT LEAST SOME OF THE TIME??? to quote Jeff Foxworthy: "women are like diesel engines- they take a while to warm up, but once they do, they can run a long, LONG time!" Sex feels SO MUCH BETTER when a woman is properly aroused. when a woman is aroused, the vagina elongates and widens, the uterus tips a little, and lubrication happens everywhere inside the vagina. this makes sex feel much better because the woman's body is ready for a penis to be in there! like, my SO's penis is BIG, and i know that if i'm not properly aroused it's bumping into things inside me, which HURTS! but when properly aroused, it feels WONDERFUL!! so that's something i'd recommend trying out- make sure you guys are ENJOYING sex, all of it, not just insert tab A into slot B, repeat!
secondly, by the question you asked about a woman's body response to having an orgasm, it sounds like you don't know about your wife's body- ask her! only she knows what happens to her after she comes. make sure you're communicating what you both want/need in the bedroom- it's easy for one person to miss something that the other person is desiring. also, don't bother with the K/Y, go get youself some O'My lube! it's fabulous and feels more like the real thing.
O'My lube
but remember, if she's fully aroused she probably won't need lube- lots of lube cuts down on friction and that's bad. little bit of friction = whole lot o rockin!
anyway, as to the you coming really quick, that's pretty natural since you haven't had sex before. there's lots of sites on the internet with adivce about how to last longer- but the basic thing is if you feel yourself getting close, stop for a minute and divert your attention elsewhere- kiss your wife, take your penis out and finger her, suck her nipples. i would not, however, recommend counting backwards from 100 or something like that, because then you're not in the fun moment of having sex with your wife. lasting longer comes with having more sex! don't stress about it.
final two cents: go get
The Guide to Getting it On! by Paul Joannides- it's a really awesome guide about all things sex (the fun and the purely biological) and you will learn A LOT that they don't tell you in sunday school!
Check out the book!
SEX IS FUN AND WONDERFUL AND GREAT! ENJOY IT!!
ps- also, have her go to her gyno and get herself checked out- perhaps she's just small or her hymen is still blocking her vaginal opening- by getting her doctor involved you'll know for sure what's going on!
