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I think that depends on the woman. My wife lurkette usually isn't much up for penetration after she cums. Though, actually... well, she sometimes has little orgasms that aren't really the "main event", and she's often VERY up for penetration after one or more of those.
I guess my point is, lurkette and I know each other inside and out. We've spent the last 13 years learning each other and honing our ability to do exactly what the other wants. We still occasionally discover new things--she spontaneously came up with a new oral trick the other day that quite literally makes my eyes roll back--but generally speaking, it's a matter of time, learning, and familiarity.
This is why I generally wouldn't recommend saving sex for marriage. I'm not criticizing your choice or your beliefs, but one of the things you'll have to contend with is that you're now in a lifelong relationship with somebody you have no sexual relatedness with. So your first job is to start building sexual relatedness.
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