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So you say that the both of you were hot and heavy until you got married. Then that gives us something to work with. I've been reading up on improving my interaction skills and meeting women, and here's something I would like you to try.
Remember a time you had really great sex and/or a time she was turned on. Now think about how your going to describe this event to your wife. What's important is that she remember the FEELING of being turned on. Such as how she'll feel warm all over, her heart will beat faster, her breathing will change, etc. Details. You can even go over the whole intimate encounter. If she can visualize being turned on in her mind, then she will be turned on.
Now when you've found the right time to have sex, put her in a good mode before telling your story. Use your sense of humor, an anecdote, whatever. You'll know the best way to go about this. Then tell your story, "Remember the time when..." This whole process should take you less then 10 min. When she reaches the emotional state your looking for, touch her in a loving way. Hold her hand, hold her arm, touch her hair, whatever. This will anchor that emotional state with that specific touch. Touching her in this manner will help turn her on in the future.
I hope I've been helpful.
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"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."
Roger Zelazny
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