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Maybe your girlfriend built up sex to be something it didn't turn out to be. Maybe she doesn't enjoy it because it fails to reach her expectations...in fact, maybe she has pain or is too sensitive down there. Or she could have sexual hang-ups she never knew she really had, till the moment she actually had sex for the first time. Maybe it's all so frustrating that she doesn't want it anymore. Maybe she has a really low sex drive when it comes to the reality of the sexual act, but was able to masturbate before because the "idea" is a turn-on. You need to make her feel she can talk to you and you won't get angry, or keep turning it back to yourself (it's me isn't it and responses of that sort that focus on you and not her). Focus on what she needs to happen to make sex all you both want it to be.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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