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Hello,
Maleficent: In regards to the statistics - agreed their sample population was not neutral, but given their sample size and diversity of cultures, it can be at least considered a baseline to work with. Even if you take the average of 3 times / week and use it as a maximum you'll end up with our situation being at the lower end I think. Especially for a young, in-love, just-married couple.
In regards to sexual incompatibility - I have no idea. I thought that really isn't a deal-breaker. I understand different people have different preferences, but wouldn't everyone at least have the same basic needs? To use an analogy, I may like only chinese food while she likes italian, but we both need to eat. And the situation isn't about preferences, it is about desire, or lack thereof. I would do anything to please her as she wants, but if she doesn't want to eat anything (analogously-speaking) what can I do?
Malificent & ratbastid: She used to masturbate, when we were engaged, often as a result of us talking about sex on the phone or as a result of her being turned on thinking about us being intimate, or her reading some erotica online. However, she not has done so since we got married. That would a) indicate she's got some sort of interest in sex, which she doesn't and b) it would be unlikely she'd finish as I'd want to pleasure her if I was around and she would know that. She has had many orgasms, but most of them before we got married. She'd often bring herself to climax more than once by herself or if I was helping through manual stimulation. However that all stopped after marriage. During intercourse she will very often lose interest and request that I stop, which I usually due so as to not upset her. I've tried many different things during sex to get her interested but esentially she's waiting for the first opportunity for me to finish for her to say that's it. She will then claim that she has already received enough fulfilment through what has happened and doesn't need to climax for any more fulfilment, something which very much confuses me. If I press the issue she will get mad.
How comfortable is she with her body? Not at all, and for absolutely no good reason. She is very attractive to myself and has received many compliments from other men in different situations to the same effect. And I sort of doubt that this is an issue, simply because I don't see the change in the variable from before or after marriage in her body - and yet before she was interested and now she is not. Prior to marriage she bought much lingerie in anticipation of usage and would speak excitedly of using it. She still fits into all of it now, and yet has not used nearly any of it due to a lack of desire. And her reasoning is that she is fulfilled as it is, like I was saying before, just through hugs and cheek kisses.
Often when I do bring up the issue of needs and give and take, she will counter by saying that it's just the way it is, and then asks me if I really want her to fake interest or just put out as "wifely-duties" so to speak. Of course I say I do not want that, and I truely don't. It will only result in resentment building. So I think she takes that to mean things are just going to stay this way.
Sorry if the post wandered all over the place.
Thanks
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