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I think in a strong relationship you need to have sexual fulfillment to keep it helathy, vibrant and exciting. You also need to have a spur of the moment spontaneity towards sex which needs to be kept alive from the times when you first met. You didn't mention, do you have kids together? Childbirth and the strain of children will have an effect on sexual drive... but i sense not.
If you're interested in keeping your sex life alive and enjoyable, try grabbing her and caress her... have passionate, noisy spontaneous sex and make it a habit. I'm sure this will perk things up.
An ex of mine was unwilling to let me perform oral sex on her for a long time. Deeper into the relationship, I found out that she was abused by a stranger at the age of 13 who took pictures and went down on her and a friend, coaxed in by a paedophile who lived nearby. You never know what people have had happen in the past, and this may well be a factor...
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