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don't make this more difficult on yourself. she wants you to tell her what to do--so tell her what you want her to do.
one thing i think some people don't realize (or maybe just forget) is that for those of us who really enjoy being submissive, few things are hotter than fulfilling your partners every desire. what better way to do that than to have your partner tell you exactly what they want?
my bf struggled with this idea when i first put it to him--almost like there was something i wanted him to tell me to do, but just wouldn't say what it was. that wasn't the case at all! my request was as simple as i could make it--tell me, step-by-step, what you want--be 100% selfish because it turns me on to give that to you. granted, we don't have sex like this all the time but it makes for some really great sex when we do!
for example...dance for me. take off your top. touch your breasts. now pull on your nipples. slide your hands up and down your body. pull down your panties. hold your arms up and turn slowly so i can look at you. turn slower. come here. kiss me. unzip my pants, but don't take them off. suck me. look at me while you do it. lay back and masturbate for me but don't climax. spread your legs wider so i can see.
she may enjoy you talking her through it entirely, doing nothing until you tell her to. try giving her verbal encouragement, comment on what you love about her body and how much you enjoy watching her do whatever it is you are telling her to do. she might enjoy you asking her questions and pushing her to talk dirty (do you want me in you? yes! tell me that you want me inside you. i want you inside me! you want me in your pussy? yes! say it then. i want you in my pussy! tell me what you want in your pussy.....you get the idea). no clue if she enjoys some dirty talk or not--and some like it dirtier than others. i don't suggest calling her your whore unless you know she'll enjoy it, go for a softer word like "toy" if you want to test the waters without asking.
now, getting into what shanifaye was talking about (which is very important imo), you need to ask her before you start all this exactly what type of consequences, if any, she wants. ask her what happens if you tell her to do something and she doesn't do it--does she want you to force her? how does she want you to go about that? maybe this won't turn into an issue for you--if she's feeling very submissive she may not refuse you at all.
this type of sex play can be a lot of work while you sort out all the details, but it is soooo worth the effort!
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