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I hope these aren't too offensive, and if they're not offensive enough, I have some way worse ones. If these bother anyone, just pm me and I'll take care of it.
There once was a woman named Alice.
She used TNT as a phallus.
They found her vagina
In north Carolina
Her ass was in Buckingham Palace.
There once was a vampire named Mable.
Her period was quite stable.
Every full moon
She'd break out a spoon
And drink herself under the table.
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