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Phaenx · 02-12-2005, 08:27 PM

About five months ago I met a girl. She was a friend of a friend and we talked for many months before I took her out on our first date. I remember it like it happened yesterday. She first came in with her sister and another girl when my friend signed up to work in the shoe department at Sears. She's beautiful, there's not a lot about her I don't love, but I won't go into that. I talked with her briefly that day, as I would continue to do for a long time until she too got a job working there. I'd see her at break every once in a while, but one day on particular she gave me her IM handle and things began to happen between us. I would take her out when she was bored and we would talk. The first date we had led back to her place where we promptly made out. She must have felt safe enough with me, or horny enough, I don't know but I was able to seal the deal after talking to her a bit more.

From that first date on the relationship was pretty much I'd take her out somewhere and then we'd mess around, or I'd just go to her house and mess around. She didn't want to commit to any single guy though was the thing. The second time I saw her she said what we had at the time probably wouldn't progress past what it was right then and there. At the time, that was fine with me. I have five or six years of college ahead of me and I'm studying to become an Electrical Engineer. When I get into my major I'll be studying so much I wouldn't be able to see a girlfriend very often, once a week maybe. It wouldn't be kind to fall in love and then do that to someone. Regardless, she didn't want to fall in love with anyone either. She is taking a year off of school to figure a few things out, to be with her friends and live a little before finishing college and having to start being responsible.

Somehow a boyfriend doesn't fit into her plans. Because of that she's afraid of me. Afraid that she's falling in love with me and I'll put an end to her plans. She wants to travel, get a column in the Chicago Tribune and live downtown. No kids, no nothing, just her and her friends. That's why she didn't want to seriously see anyone. True to her word about a week later she told me she got really drunk and made out with one of her many male friends. By this time I had some feelings for the girl and I was a little hurt, but I knew the deal so I didn't say anything. I was determined to kick the guys ass if I ever met him again, but that's besides the point. I stuck around. I stuck around and we've grown on one another. It's been a while and nothing's happened since, so I began to wonder.

Flash forward to last week. I make a distinctive face when I'm lost in thought. I was laying on my back, she must have been sleeping with her head resting on my chest and saw me scowling at the ceiling. Then the classic question was raised, "What are you thinking?" I had just began to ponder something very important regarding her, I wasn't ready to say anything yet so I said, "I'll tell you later." The truth was that I was defining the word love. To love a woman, as I put it, was a deep subconcious feeling of unity. A person who lights up your day, whom you just can't get enough of. Would you fight for her? Would you be faithful, always, no matter the circumstances? Could you be patient with her for the rest of your life? I spent some time wondering about things like that.

I'm a quixotic young man as it turns out.

The answer was yes, I could do all that and I do love this girl. That was surprisingly the easy part. I've had girlfriends before, plenty. There's just something about this one that's turned me into a giant sissy. I've never told a girl I loved her. I don't use the word lightly, but there's nothing more I'd like to do but to tell her how I feel. The problem is the whole disciplined study habit thing. I won't see her much after that and that'll cause trouble down the road. What's more, I'm not sure how she's going to react. She likes me a lot and feels safe with me, but people are a little wierd about that word especially in our situation. Finally, I wanted to wait until she's ready to seriously start seeing me. That I think I have, I refer to her as my girlfriend, she got mad one time when someone called her my girl and I said she wasn't (I said quickly after "she's her own woman." looked at her and said, "saved!" she laughed). So that's not a big deal.

None of this is really a big deal. I don't know why I posted it, I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest. I'm going to tell her regardless of what council I recieve. The few months before I enter EE will be worth any fighting that may follow, if we break up then I guess it wasn't worth the trouble. I don't really care if she reacts harshly. It's more important that I am true to her, and for all of our sakes myself. I am a brash person and holding something like this back is a feeling that borders on physical pain. Whether or not she's ready to commit to me is a problem, but it would be cowardly to let it stop me. So I'm going to do it. Not tonight, she'll be drunk. Probably not tommorow, I won't see her in person. It'll just happen the next time I see her will be on Valentines day. So for all my gushy drama, I'm just going to end up a hokey dork. But at least she'll know how I feel.

Thanks for listening to me, please wish me luck.

Summary for lazy people:
I met and fell in love with a girl.

Girl falls in love with me after assorted drama.

Girl inquires about my thoughts one night. Said thoughts being whether I love her or not. I do love her, but don't know if I should tell her.

I decide to tell her anyways regardless of my fears.

02-12-2005, 08:27 PM	#1 (permalink)
Phaenx The Northern Ward Location: Columbus, Ohio	Would it be kinder not to tell her I love her? About five months ago I met a girl. She was a friend of a friend and we talked for many months before I took her out on our first date. I remember it like it happened yesterday. She first came in with her sister and another girl when my friend signed up to work in the shoe department at Sears. She's beautiful, there's not a lot about her I don't love, but I won't go into that. I talked with her briefly that day, as I would continue to do for a long time until she too got a job working there. I'd see her at break every once in a while, but one day on particular she gave me her IM handle and things began to happen between us. I would take her out when she was bored and we would talk. The first date we had led back to her place where we promptly made out. She must have felt safe enough with me, or horny enough, I don't know but I was able to seal the deal after talking to her a bit more. From that first date on the relationship was pretty much I'd take her out somewhere and then we'd mess around, or I'd just go to her house and mess around. She didn't want to commit to any single guy though was the thing. The second time I saw her she said what we had at the time probably wouldn't progress past what it was right then and there. At the time, that was fine with me. I have five or six years of college ahead of me and I'm studying to become an Electrical Engineer. When I get into my major I'll be studying so much I wouldn't be able to see a girlfriend very often, once a week maybe. It wouldn't be kind to fall in love and then do that to someone. Regardless, she didn't want to fall in love with anyone either. She is taking a year off of school to figure a few things out, to be with her friends and live a little before finishing college and having to start being responsible. Somehow a boyfriend doesn't fit into her plans. Because of that she's afraid of me. Afraid that she's falling in love with me and I'll put an end to her plans. She wants to travel, get a column in the Chicago Tribune and live downtown. No kids, no nothing, just her and her friends. That's why she didn't want to seriously see anyone. True to her word about a week later she told me she got really drunk and made out with one of her many male friends. By this time I had some feelings for the girl and I was a little hurt, but I knew the deal so I didn't say anything. I was determined to kick the guys ass if I ever met him again, but that's besides the point. I stuck around. I stuck around and we've grown on one another. It's been a while and nothing's happened since, so I began to wonder. Flash forward to last week. I make a distinctive face when I'm lost in thought. I was laying on my back, she must have been sleeping with her head resting on my chest and saw me scowling at the ceiling. Then the classic question was raised, "What are you thinking?" I had just began to ponder something very important regarding her, I wasn't ready to say anything yet so I said, "I'll tell you later." The truth was that I was defining the word love. To love a woman, as I put it, was a deep subconcious feeling of unity. A person who lights up your day, whom you just can't get enough of. Would you fight for her? Would you be faithful, always, no matter the circumstances? Could you be patient with her for the rest of your life? I spent some time wondering about things like that. I'm a quixotic young man as it turns out. The answer was yes, I could do all that and I do love this girl. That was surprisingly the easy part. I've had girlfriends before, plenty. There's just something about this one that's turned me into a giant sissy. I've never told a girl I loved her. I don't use the word lightly, but there's nothing more I'd like to do but to tell her how I feel. The problem is the whole disciplined study habit thing. I won't see her much after that and that'll cause trouble down the road. What's more, I'm not sure how she's going to react. She likes me a lot and feels safe with me, but people are a little wierd about that word especially in our situation. Finally, I wanted to wait until she's ready to seriously start seeing me. That I think I have, I refer to her as my girlfriend, she got mad one time when someone called her my girl and I said she wasn't (I said quickly after "she's her own woman." looked at her and said, "saved!" she laughed). So that's not a big deal. None of this is really a big deal. I don't know why I posted it, I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest. I'm going to tell her regardless of what council I recieve. The few months before I enter EE will be worth any fighting that may follow, if we break up then I guess it wasn't worth the trouble. I don't really care if she reacts harshly. It's more important that I am true to her, and for all of our sakes myself. I am a brash person and holding something like this back is a feeling that borders on physical pain. Whether or not she's ready to commit to me is a problem, but it would be cowardly to let it stop me. So I'm going to do it. Not tonight, she'll be drunk. Probably not tommorow, I won't see her in person. It'll just happen the next time I see her will be on Valentines day. So for all my gushy drama, I'm just going to end up a hokey dork. But at least she'll know how I feel. Thanks for listening to me, please wish me luck. Summary for lazy people: I met and fell in love with a girl. Girl falls in love with me after assorted drama. Girl inquires about my thoughts one night. Said thoughts being whether I love her or not. I do love her, but don't know if I should tell her. I decide to tell her anyways regardless of my fears. __________________ "I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy Last edited by Phaenx; 02-12-2005 at 08:32 PM..