View Single Post
Old 02-08-2005, 01:36 PM   #18 (permalink)
Willravel
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
Willravel's Avatar
 
The golden rule should apply to everyone. There is such a thing as 'ageism', the mistreatment of people because of their age.

Ageists assume that their experience trumps any experience of those younger then them, therefore they are always right. Of course, that is absurd, as every child in the world has at least some experience that his or her parents have not experienced. Example: I have always been into psychology and sociology. I've been studying it since I can remember. My father yelled at me, claiming it was a healthy way to vent anger. I let him believe this for a while, as correcting him would have only worsened the situation. When I was maybe 15 or so, he started yelling at me over something like chores. I asked him why he was yelling at me over 3 glasses that didn't get put into the dishwasher the night before. I stopped talking and let him finish yelling at me how this was symptomatic of my chronic laziness. After he stopped, I asked him if he felt better after he yelled, to which he simply replied, "Yes." I asked him what he felt the yelling accomplished. "My yelling is a way to vent my frustration with you." "No," I corrected, "your yelling is a way to vent your frustration at me." He stopped and thought for a moment. "My yelling at you is a way to communicate how serious I am, and how angry I am." I let it be silent for a second, as I put the glasses in the dishwasher. "Yelling is a form of intimidation, agree?" I calmly said. This struck my father funny. Chuckling, he said, "You think I'm trying to intimidate you?" "Aren't you? You get so angry about three dishes you feel it's necessary to deafen me." -my father has been a singer since he was young, and he has a very powerful and projecting voice, "Don't you think "venting" as often as you do makes you more likely to be aggressive?" At this point my dad has gone from mad, to thoughtful, to mad again. "What makes you think that you know so much about psychology? I have my A.A. in psych. You're in high school." At that, he assumed victory, and left. His A.A. in psych was over 20 years old at the time, and he had just taken some basic psych classes. He assumed that because he is older he had more experience and was more knowledgeable.

A few years later, I brought my dad a copy of a study done at Iowa State University and Case Western Reserve University. The study asked 707 under grads to participate in experiments that included being insulted by an unseen study partner. The students performed a series of activities, some students hitting a punching bag and others not. When the students competed in a computer game with the partner who insulted them, those who had hit the punching bag were much more likely to behave aggressively, the researchers found. My dad simply replied, "That's not conclusive." There was no convincing him.

I know I'll do my very best to never ever think less of my daughters opinions and thoughts because of her age. When she learns to talk, I'll listen to everything she has to say till the day I die.
Willravel is offline  
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360