psyday

This is an essay that my boss wrote that I thought was pretty good:

I read the article in Texas Monthly concerning your plight. For some reason, I have had a
strange compulsion to write. I have fought this compulsion for about a week, figuring it
was just a bug. Kinda like that bug you get when you really desire a new car. If you can
fight it for a few days, it usually passes. Unfortunately, the thoughts, ideas and phrasings
keep swirling in my mind so I must get then out somehow. Perhaps I will never send it,
but at least the demons will be banished.
Ok, first, why do I even bother writing? Well, one way to look at it might be that we, as
humans certainly like to feel good about ourselves. Writing to you, and providing some
form of encouragement or sage wisdom will allow me to help the less fortunate thereby
making me feel better. Remember that philosophically there is no altruism. Or, I can
find fault with the path you have taken and explain to you why you are in the situation
you are in. Perhaps this could be construed as another –ism…sadism. Or, I can look at
your plight and the similarities between it and my path through life, as there are many,
and commiserate (wish I had an –ism here to keep with the theme). All those are
certainly valid reasons for writing, but I don’t think any of them are the real reason. The
real reason I am writing is to banish the demons.
I read through your blog and felt a level of sincerity in that writing and some interesting
muses. I thought I might address some of those by sharing with you the truths behind
what I have learned in my journey through life.
On Family:
This is it. This is truly all there is. Family is what gets you through it. I feel for anyone
without family.
On Friends:
You are truly wealthy in this world if you have one or two really close friends. I mean
the hangout, share minds, run an errand, do stupid things together, do anything for you at
anytime kind of friend. Even your family may not be this good of a friend. If you have
one of these you are so fortunate. If you have two, then WOW.
The reality of friendships is that it is a complex relationship between socio-economics,
esteem, prejudice, pride, proximity and so many other factors. Most people choose their
friends based on some combination of these factors and when you fail in a piece of the
equation, you are a lesser or non-friend. It is rare for an individual to have nonhomogeneous
friendships. This is unfortunate because they live in a monoculture and
their lives are poorer for it.
On Employers:
The biggest mistake that business ever made was trying to pretend that they truly cared
and want you to be self actualized and fulfilled as part of their organization. This is
patently false as your sole purpose is to produce more than you cost an organization. Self
actualization and self fulfillment needs to be filled through your friends, family, faith and
outside interests. If you also are one of the fortunate ones to get an element of this in
your work, then you are truly one of the wealthiest people on earth regardless of your
income level.
On Jobs;
I always felt that the most fortunate people on earth were the ones that always knew what
they wanted to do with their lives since they were teenagers. This is very rare, but you
may know a person that, at 15, said I want to blank…and spent their lives doing just that.
I meet an interesting guy once. He asked me if I knew what the dirtiest word in the
English language was? Do you know what he told me? Salary.
Seems odd, doesn’t it. Don’t we all want a good salary? Don’t we want to make more
money and care for our families? Sure we do, but it is a pernicious bargain. Most people
start down a path in life, start to make some money and get a decent salary. Then they
build a life around that salary. Now, salary is really no longer salary, it is crack, or heroin.
You NEED it. If it is gone, you have to go get it again. You chase it, you degrade
yourself, you sacrifice your desires, and you compromise your values. You become a
product of where you have been because you have to go get that level of income again.
You may even spend 20, 30 or 40 years in a field or industry that you would love to get
out of, but you have the monkey on your back and you can’t.
This is part of what I call; The Many Lies That America Tells You. This is the fallacy of
a rich life. We are raised to believe that we can and should have all these things. We
should fill our lives with things and cars and this and that and etc, etc. If we do so, we
are rich people. The reality is that as you garner more possession they begin to
complicate your life. They own you. They need to be cared. They take up financial and
emotional resources. Someone said desire is the root of all misery. Well, I think they are
right.
In actuality, the richest life is a simple life. This does not mean not to be comfortable or
have a nice lifestyle, but keep it simple. Live beneath you means. Keep it paid for. And
always, always, always save and invest. This truly frees you to do whatever you want at
any time, with any options.
I will share with you an anecdote. I had a job once (after I broke my addiction to salary).
I went to my boss and said I need 6 weeks off as my wife and I are going to Europe.
Boss: “You only have two weeks of vacation.”
Me: ”I fully understand that I will only have two weeks of paid time off, I will take the
other four weeks off unpaid.”
Boss: ”You cannot go.”
Me: ”I think you misunderstand. I am going to Europe for six weeks. Here are the
dates.”
Boss: ”You cannot go, you only have two weeks of vacation.”
Me: ”I am sorry, perhaps I am not communicating clearly. I am going to Europe for
six weeks. Here are the dates that I am going. I don’t expect to be paid for the
entire time. I will take the other four weeks off unpaid..”
Boss: ”I told you that you only have two weeks vacation, you cannot go.”
Me: “I see you do not understand what I am saying. Let me explain it to you
differently. I am going to Europe for six weeks. Here are the dates. I would like
the time off. You do not have the power to tell me I cannot go. However, you do
have the power to tell me I cannot return. Therefore, I must state my request like
this. I would like to return to work after my six week trip to Europe. If you
would not like me to return, then consider this my notice that I will no longer be
employed here when I leave for my trip.”
Boss; “I don’t appreciate being blackmailed.
Me: “This is not blackmail. These are all decisions left entirely up to you. I am going
to Europe. It is your choice as to whether I am allowed to return.”
Boss: “That is blackmail.”
Me: “No, you are an employer and you have the right to not allow me to return. You
do not have the right to tell me I can’t go.”
That is the power of a simple life.
On Plights.
I was hooked on Salary for a long time. But, I was let go after 10 years with the same
firm. I was 42. I loved what I was doing and would have never left but the firing was the
best thing that ever happened to me. It forced me to pay heed to what I have learned as
mentioned above; the heroin of salary, the reality of friendships and the importance of a
simple life. I vowed that it would never happen again and I went out and started
something.
Think about this. You are 47. If you do find a job, so what? What is going to happen?
Layed off at 50 or 52? Are you hoping for 13 good years somewhere? Good luck
because companies don’t care if you get 13 good years or not out of them.
One of the reasons people don’t go into business for themselves is because of the heroin
of salary. They build a life that prevents them from forgoing temporary income for a
period of time as they wait for much greater rewards down the road. You have the good
fortune of already kicking the habit.
Another reason people fail to get started is because they worry about the wrong things.
Only worry about the next step, not two or three steps down the road. You are bright
enough to figure it out what to do once you get those two or three steps down the road.
All you have to do is put one foot in front of the other and before you know it, you have
gotten somewhere.
Go start something. It has never been easier to get in business. You don’t need
stationery, brochures, offices, nothing. You just need something to sell, either a good or a
service. It doesn’t matter what. I have a friend that has started 20 businesses. The
amazing thing about him is he is not emotionally tied to his product or service. He is
emotionally tied to the deal, to the building of the business. In fact, he usually freaks out
when they get past ten employees and is mostly worthless as an operator. By then he is
jonesing for the next deal and usually sells out or hires managers.
OK, so I guess finally we get to a point where I can feel better about myself by helping
those less fortunate: Go start something.
Good Luck