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Originally Posted by shakran
That won't teach the child anything other than "avoid pain." It won't teach the kid to respect that other kid. All it will teach him is that if he wants to hit the other kid (and hitting mustn't always be wrong since Mommy just hit him) just make sure to do it when he won't be caught, then he won't be spanked.
If however you raise the kid to be respectful of people, meaning you actually take the time and trouble to work with the kid BEFORE hitting other kids becomes an issue, then you are being proactive rather than reactive and you have a much better chance of stopping the problem before it starts.
Raising a kid to behave well without spanking him is, no question, harder than just spanking him whenever he screws up. But it's a lot kinder, a lot more logical, and frankly any parent who's so lazy they'd rather beat their child than work with their child to teach him good behavior shouldn't be a parent.
And yes, that's in my opinion.
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"Avoid pain" is pretty much all a child 2-5 can understand(unless the child happens to be EXCEPTIONALLY bright). At a young age *most* children need to be taught that dissobedience = bad, and the quickest, most effective method of that is, dissobedience = pain = bad. When the child gets older, then start in with the explanations, the reasoning, the method behind the mayhem.
An average 2-5 year old is not going to understand empathy, they live in a singular universe, it's all about them, so the only lessons they are going to learn are those that directly affect them, for some children all it takes is a "timeout" or some other "non-painful" punishment, but for a lot of children, that is not going to work, they need something with a direct immediate punishment to associate the behavior with the punishment. This is not to say that spanking needs to be used every time, it should *in my opinion* be used in cases where the child has done something very bad, or repeats the behavior again and again, despite other forms of punishment.
As for spankings being beatings, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME! A child being spanking is NOTHING like a child being BEATEN. A spanking is performed in a calm manner, is used to discipline the child, and the actual pain is gone in less than a half an hour. A BEATING is done by an angry person, as a way to vent that anger, it has nothing to do with disciplining the child, it has everything to do with the ABUSER. Abuse leaves lasting physical effects that may take days or weeks to heal, and emotional damage that can last through a life time, and I have never heard of a child holding a spanking against the parent for a lifetime. A spanking can turn into a beating, but then it becomes a beating and stops being a spanking. Spanking is a form of discipline, beatings are a form of abuse, if you doubt the difference, come see me and I'll give you an example of each and then if you can still talk after the beating example, I'll ask you again if a spanking is a beating.