Thanks, everyone for the suggestions. I apologize for not making it clearer, but I was typing in a hurry. Unfortunately, I haven't had the chance to try the suggestions. I went home friday early with that intestional flu, and she was home not long after I was with it. Today, Sunday, is the first day I've been online since then, and after 3 days of illness, neither of us feels much like trying out the suggestions. I know about stopwords and safe words and key words. I had a life before I met her.
As for the Mrs., let me say one thing. When I do get her going, she is incredible. Her sexual performances leave me exhausted. It's getting her to that point where she feels comfortable enough to release her inhibitions is what I need. And that's the key, getting her to that point. One problem is that we both are in control in our workplaces. I run a nonprofit agency, she is a teacher. So we both order people around. I think she just wants to relax, be told what to do, and enjoy herself.
ehh, she's not reading this, I'd probably be divorced if she did, so let me say that I really didn't see them as attacks on her. People don't know her, and if I was gonna be offended, posting a sex advice question online is a surefire place to get offended.
Okay, as for the suggestions Lets take'm in order:
Wolf, you are right in regards to whips and handcuffs. But the toys are a possibility.
f6twister and la petite moi, that is it exactly. She doesn't want to initiate, and I just need to figure out how to keep it going. Actually in talking about it a few minutes ago, we came to the agreement that she would initiate occasionally, even though she would prefer not to.
Dingo, you hit the nail on the head. She is not comfortable with her own body. She is gorgeous, and I mean that, not just because she is my wife. 39 years old, looks 25, and turns guys heads when we go out. People look at us like "WTF is she doing with him?" I just grin and enjoy it. Unfortunately, we live in rural SE Ohio, The nearest sexuality course would be miles away. And she would never take the course, but thanks for the suggestion.
sillygirl, the sex has been vanilla, and that's why I'm trying to get ideas. But you nailed it as well. (Ha! I said nailed it.)
sweetpea, we talked about fantasies tonight. She said she'd think about it and get tell me if she can come up with one we can do.
Spicy, she could be a bit lazy, but one thing I did not mention is that she in on an anti-depressant that reduces her sexual drive. In addition to the mental aspect of her lack of sexuality, I have to deal with the psychological aspect. Ain't it fun. Her family has a history of depression, and she hit bottom when her mom died unexpected 6 years ago. SHe is better, but needs the meds to keep her regulated.
As for the rest, shani faye, I didn't forget you. It's just that handcuffs are out, as is being tied up. That was something she first nixed. Seaver, she does have longer hair, and her favorite position is from behind. THAT may work. She wants to be bossed around, turned over my knee and spanked, and told what to do sexually. While I would love to bend her over the kitchen table for a quicky in the AM before work, it might disturb the 8 year old eating her breakfast before school.
But really, this was not an easy thing for me to ask. I've always been successful, and it's just gotten away from us. I am thinking about a weekend in a small inn about an hour away, with a garden tub jacuzzi and a lot of fun memories for us. But I don't want for our sex life to be built around a bunch of motel rooms. You folks have given me some great ideas, and I will discuss them with her in the next few days. Thank you again. Asking for sex advice was something that took me a while to do, but this was easier than I thought. When I got online tonight, I worried about the lack of responses. You folks have really helped out. Keep'em coming, and I'll keep trying them out. When we find something that works, you WON'T hear from me. At least for a day or three.
Mike