ratbastid

Here's the real crux of it. It's not that you SHOULD feel like an asshole, but I think it's important to let her know you do. She feels like you should feel bad about it.

Bottom line: you can either be right about wanting what you wanted years ago, or you can be happy now. You can't have both.

Here's what you say: "You know, hon, I'm really sorry I was such a jerk about that. I probably left you feeling like I didn't trust you or something. I was just a paranoid virgin, and I didn't really even think about how the whole thing was making you feel. Will you forgive me?"

I promise, you have THAT conversation, and the issue goes away forever.

Have some OTHER conversation, like about how everybody should get tested all the time and better safe than sorry and how you were right to stick to your guns about it--however true and valid that is--and the issue stays put.